(The kids flipped out when they first got in the limo; they couldn’t believe how big the car was and how many windows… This is our three youngest kids, and Scott and Carol Bauman’s three; there are two more Bauman babies behind... The camera, twins, enjoying the ride… Abby is having a good day today and excited to get to go with her friends)
To all:
Some wonderful friends came by tonight IN A LIMO and picked up Abby, Landis and Sami to go look at Christmas lights… it was really cool. God is so good to us.
My wife and I have been discussing this latest very serious news about Abby (read here if you don’t know about it: http://www.brentriggs.com?ItemID=325 ). Typically, we have been REACTIVE to Abby’s complications/hospitalization and it has truthfully taken quite a toll on us in every aspect. Even with all the wonderful kindness people have shown, it seems like it is hard to just get through a day when Abby is having significant problems.
Starting Jan 16th, Abby enters the hardest 60 to 90 days of her treatment. So…
- Given her high risk factors…
- Given her history with so many complications…
- Given that we know how much the chemo is going to debilitate her…
- Given her history of hospitalizations that are pretty predictable at this point… we expect her to be in the hospital most, if not all, of this phase…
- Given our experience with the logistics of caring for both Abby and our other children…
Given all that, we are going to try to PLAN AHEAD for this period rather than simply reacting. If Abby doesn’t make it, it is more likely to be during this period than any other, especially given the genetic problem that was discovered last week. On the flip side, if she survives this period of treatment and gets into “maintenance” chemotherapy (the long term – 2 years – much lighter, safer treatment mean to keep the cancer from coming back), her prognosis begins brighten.
Mostly it involves juggling this reality
- Spending as much time with Abby in hospital as possible not only to care for her but because we don’t want to miss out on being with her…
Juggled with:
- Taking care of the other 4 kids at home, school, church
- House, laundry, food, mail, banking, trips to the pharmacy
- Brent’s work
- Paying bills, paperwork, insurance
We know that there are a lot of great people that care about Abby. So if you have any suggestions, from your experience or intuition, on how we can better prepare, please let us know. We are appealing to the mass experience and wisdom of all our friends and family to prepare for this next period.
One thing we have decided to do for sure, is to hire someone to come to our house every weekday for 4-6 weeks to help with the kids, school, cleaning, laundry, babysitting, etc. We’ve talked about it at length, and see no alternative to this. Otherwise, I (Brent) am lucky to get to see Abby a couple of hours every day or two, and Michelle is all alone at the hospital for days on end. I don’t want Michelle dealing with this alone, and I certainly don’t want to miss what could be the last time I have with Abby.
So we will do whatever it takes to hire someone to “nanny” for us for about 6 weeks. For those of you that live locally, if you know of someone who might be interested in this temporary situation (roughly 6 weeks, starting Jan 16; weekdays, probably 8 hours a day, $????/hr, not sure on the wage yet), please let us know. It could be a maybe an older woman, or college age. Maybe a lady with older kids in school, or even a very mature teenage girl experienced with caring for kids and house. If you know someone who might be interested, please let us know.
We appreciate your prayers for:
- Wisdom and strength to care for Abby
- Opportunity to find someone for this “nanny” need
- God’s provision for financial needs
- Healing for Abby
Sorry for the long emails. You have been so instrumental in helping us through this trial. Your friendship, encouragement, prayers and practical help have been priceless. We are very sad for those who do not have such a “family” around them during their trials. It is truly a TREASURE. Please include Abby on your prayer lists and groups…
We know that God is watching over us, and we take joy in our trials as we watch so many people displaying their Christian love. Others who don’t know God are being drawn to Him as they watch the caring sacrifice of our Christian brethren.
Blessings,
Brent (and Michelle)
www.brentriggs.com
27 comments:
Brent and Michelle,
I can't even imagine having to put this all into words.
I will be praying for wisdom, discernment and diving appointments to locate the right "nanny" for your family!
Praying for Abby and continue to bring her before our Father!
Do you have a laundry service near you? Do you have a teen you can hire to do wash? One of your children maybe? We just taught our two girls to do everything but put the soap in alone. They are getting awesome at folding.
Another thing is to look into using the local grocery store to prepare meals for you - that can easily be picked up - have them do all of your grocery shopping and this can be delivered to your home.
I believe there are services like this that are NOT the typical price for the exact situation you are in through the Ronald McDonald house. Have you contacted them?
Instead of mail for any bills coming to your house - what about going all online payment through your bank? It allows you to pay bills immediatly without worry of missing them and to pay no matter where you are. We did when we ended up being in Guatemala for six weeks unexpected two year ago.
Merry Christmas! Blessings and love! Praying for your continued strength and His peace to wash over you daily!
Jill
Sending many many prayers for you all!!
the kids must have had so much fun in the limo....I wished I lived closer to you guys to help but NJ is a bit of a hike... praying for you guys
alex
Brent and Michelle,
My heart was heavy as I read your update yesterday. Although we have spent our share of time in the hospital, it's nothing like the situations you have/are going to endure, so I won't presume to provide suggestions. You are wise to plan ahead, and I pray that every need (material and otherwise!) is fulfilled.
I will continue to pray daily and will ask others that I know to do the same. God Bless each and every one of you, and may you enjoy a blessed Christmas.
Your family is being lifted! May the peace of our Lord cover you this Christmas. Thank you for being such an example of His love and grace.
I do not have any suggestions. I praise you for all of your dedication, support, and love to your children. If there is anything I can do from NJ please let me know.
My prayers are with Amazing Abby.
I wish there was an easy answer to all the questions... know that I join you in your prayers, always... wisdom, peace, joy amidst the pain... I just think one thing... whatever you do, day by day, no regrets... you do what you have to do to get through each day... by His grace... by His strength... you will make it through this time, his fire, all these looming unknowns... ONE WAY.
My suggestion would be to do what you can ahead of time, but then find someone else to be in charge of the scheduling. You may find that you will have lots of volunteers wanting to help nanny your family. You could schedule one person on Mondays, another on Tuesdays, etc. Your kids at home will survive this. (Ours seem to have come through 3 years of trauma with flying colors.) God will give you the strength to do what you have to do. Try not to be afraid ahead of time. Prepare so that you feel like you have some control, but then trust God and live each day as it comes.
That limo ride looks like so much fun.
Just wondering if the hospital's social worker could help you in finding a nanny/caretaker.
Praying for your wisdom, and for Abby's strength, as she prepares for the hardest part of chemo.
Dear Riggs family... Abby and your family have been in our prayers as so many others' around the country!!! I wish we were closer to you in location as we might be able to offer more practical support during this time over the next weeks... but please know that we will continue to pray for divine intervention in every day, wisdom in all decisions, for daily help as needed.. and most importantly.. for the Lord's complete and perfect will in precious Abby's life .... may you be overwhelmed with his presence at this moment and in all the days ahead! Blessings... Pam and Greg Hurley
Michelle and Brent,
If you want or need anything please do not hesitate to ask. Without asking, we are praying for Abby and all who are close to you and your family.
Many Christmas Blessings!
The Koenig Family
Indiana
I wish I lived near you. I would be there in a heartbeat. I am sending hugs and many prayers for you and sweet Abby. Please know that we do pray everyday for Abby's healing. This little girl has SO MUCH living yet to do!!
MERRY CHRISTMAS to the whole clan!!! You are so blessed to have all your kids at home for this wonderful holiday!!!
Brent and Michelle,
Are there any homeschooled teens nearby who can come help with the household chores and allow it to be used as school credit?
Is there someone who can schedule a long-term meal/house-cleaning schedule? When one of my dear friends (mother of three small children) went through six mos of chemo, we utilized church, neighbors, etc and put together a six-month meal/house cleaning schedule. One person with a deep freezer kept frozen meals on hand to deliver on days when there were no other helpers.
My brother and his wife have been living this life for two years. My nephew has been in the hospital since birth two hours from their home. They have two other children. My sister in law lives at the Ronald McDonald house and my brother works full time. They have utilized every possible family member and friend to help with the child care.
They will tell you that God really does give you grace for the journey. It's incredibly difficult, but God has always, always supplied every need---emotional, spiritual, financial and practical.
I will continue to check in on your progress and pray for you.
Blessings this Christmas Eve,
Sandy
Brent and Michelle,
My prayers are with you. I would be there in a heartbeat (and retire from teaching) if I could. May be something like you are needing is a service I could provide others here in Katy, TX. I am at a crossroads as you are but don't pretend that mine is anything like yours.
I know you are hearing "if I could" but know that there are so many out there that are praying for you and for God's healing hand on Abby. My sweet sister had AML and is now with her Lord and Saviour. So I know the rigors of chemo and treatments and blood and the list goes on and on. She had a chromosome that resisted chemo. All I can offer you is prayers and support from the blog world.
Thinking of you on this blessed day,
Paula
I am so blessed as I read day after day about how REAL your family is with Abby's situation. Standing for healing yet savoring every minute, knowing it could be one of the last. I have seen so many family's stand for healing, never saying goodbye, never looking what could be reality in the face and facing it, and then losing their love "suddenly". Bless you. You are an amazing family. I pray daily for Abby's total and complete healing - that she will live a long and happy life with her loving family. I wish I lived near and could do more to help your sweet family. I pray health and healing and life into Abby's bones, blood, ligaments...every part of her being.
Praying for you and little Abby!!!
God Bless,Leslie
Dear sweet Riggs Family:
When unthinkable circumstances become our "walk" the scriptural context is such a comfort, for it alone holds true hope.
I love that your mindset is that of Daniel’s, his focus was not on the hungry lions, rather his focus was on the one whose hand controls all our circumstances.
Your life is indeed a sterling example of relying upon Him who gives life, rather than the life He has give us. Thank you.
Because Rom 8 & I Thes 5:18 are true great solace is give in believing these wonderful words of encouragement. Thus we have reason for joy in the midst of our trials, small or large.
Like most of the others here in this "community", helping you physically is my heart's desire were it not for the miles that separate us.
much love and many prayers for Abby & especially for those who stand at Abby's side wishing, praying, hoping for her recovery.
With "our" hand in the Hand of the Man from Galilee my heart joins yours in seeking His healing and thanking Him for His provision, even to something as interesting as a limo ride to look at the pretty lights :-)
such a blessing to have siblings whose heart's are tender toward Abby, and children who truly want to help mom and dad.
in agreement is my heart, the B I G
car looks like lots of "fun". :-)
indeed, wisdom will always plan forward, for it create proper preparation to the degree we are capable --- the footsteps are yours, the plans are HIS.
the scruffy old carpenter
Merry Christmas to you and your family. Praying for Abby often and for all of you to have continued strength to battle through the next few months. I think of Abby often even though I have never met you and pray and hope with all of my heart that she will beat this terrible disease! Please know that we are circling all of you with love and hope that you have a Christmas Miracle this year and next. Please give Abby extra Abrazos y besos and tell her how loved she truly is by people she never even knew existing.
With love,
Diana
(adoptive mommy to a 3 year old Guat Tot)
We are praying for you during this tough time and knowing that God is with you and Abby.
I'm typing through the tears. I just can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now. I know God will provide these services for you so that you can spend as much time as possible with Abby. I'm amazed at your strength and can definitely see God's work in you and your beautiful family. I love that Abby got to take a limo ride.
A little girl in the school where I used to teach was undergoing chemo and received sad news about her prognosis. She was in 3rd grade (a bit older than Abby), but they had a "prom" for her. She had a huge party, dressed up in a pretty dress, her daddy escorted her in a tux, and her parents rented out a reception hall so she could dance the night away before Jesus took her home.
I know you and Abby will have special moments together, too. I'm hoping you have many more years with Abby and that is my prayer.
Much Love,
Joanna
Merry Christmas to all of you! You are never far from our thoughts and we "check on Abby" quite frquently. I am thankful that God has given you the opportunity to be together as a family tonight and on Christmas. Praise the Lord that Abby is home for Christmas! I sent a picture of our family to your dear friend9and mine:) she should be bringing it by soon.
With Love,
Michelle Mann
Alaska
pmomann@yahoo.com
I am so glad the kids had a wonderful time in the limo looking at Christmas Lights.. That is a fun time of Christmas..
Abby is in my prayers.. I wish I lived closer I would love to help with being a nanny to help your family while Abby is going thru the hard chemo..
Merry Christmas to each of you and my god watch over each and everyone of you..
April
If I lived close, here is one of the things I would offer ... hoping someone close by can do this for you.
When some friends of ours were going through a very difficult time, I asked the church for funds to provide a month's worth of meals. Then, I bought the Once-A-Month cooking book, and planned and prepared all of the meals for a month (asking the family for likes/dislikes first). Since all of the meals were from the same cookbook, the family had the book so that they would have all of the cooking instructions. This family did not have a large freezer, so a family from church that lived down the street provided the freezer space.
This worked much better than to have someone prepare and deliver meals every day (which is still a huge blessing). But, this plan allowed the family to decide what and when they wanted to eat each day, and they did not have to wonder whether or not someone would show up with dinner for the day.
Hoping someone can pick up this idea and run with it.
Also ... I agree with a previous comment ... check the homeschool community for some volunteer nannies. I know that my girls, when they were in high school, would have loved to do it.
Prayers for each of you!
Laurel :)
I just want to offer my sympathies. I only went through our medical stuff for 90 days...of course I would have changed the outcome but God had his hand in it. We had a program here called Tefra medicaid. It is NOT based on parents income..just the child's and the particular medical issue. My Chelsea qualified and we made 3 trips out of state to Seattle and had 3 inpatient hospital admits/ emergency surgery..etc. I would ask your caseworker about any program to assist. Tefra billed and paied whatever our insurance did not. It saved us in the end...it really did. We had 100k in medical bills in 1 day Jan 2006. Re: the home..laundry service is a good idea..is there a super supper or something like that around...we called our utilitie companys and other local bills and explained our situation if we were gone when something was due...I wish there was something I could say or do..I just want you to know if you need to vent or need advice you have my email. God Bless all of you.
Praying things will be worked out with your schedules! I'm here in Louisiana but PLEASE let me know if there's anything I can do to help!!
Praying you guys will find the strength and wisdom you need to make it through this difficult time! I'm praying for Abby and standing on my faith that Abby will make a full recovery from this!
Brent and Michelle, I love reading your blog, and I'm praying for your family and Abby's healing every day.
We've hired nannies/caregivers a few times before, adn the best resources for us have been care.com and even better was sittercity.com. Unfortunately, I don't live nearby or I'd give you the numbers of some people who could be helpful. (We had GREAT luck with this!). SOmeone else had a great idea about Ronald McDonald House. You may also check with your hospital. I'll bet they have a social worker or support group who has really good ideas.
I was surprised the first time I visited Seattle Children's with my daughter who has a fairly challenging diagnosis--they sent two different social workers to meet with us during our visit even thought it was a rountine checkup! They wanted to know what our family needed (nothing in that case) and if we had any concerns they could help with. Another idea is the hospital chaplin.
Prayers, prayers and more prayers for you. I'd like to re-suggest what someone else said...Have a close bud in charge of scheduling meals, volunteers, etc. Sometimes just handling all of that generosity people bless you can be tiring in itself..though it is a blessing. that way, your church and friends can put out...if you want to help The Riggs call so and so. you could even divide out the scheduling to different people.
Also....Is there someone who is wise with medical billing you know that you trust that can help you with that part? To go over receipts and make sure everything is okay? that might help alot too.
Many blessings and let us know if there is something we can do in 'blog world'
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