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Laughter Lives Tuesday:
Funny Things That Happened At...
Church, weddings, funeral, anniversary... any family event.
This should be a LOT of fun, kinda of like "America's Funniest Home Videos" in story form. Looking back, I wish I would have written down every funny thing that's ever happened to us. What incredible joy and stress relief it would be to have those memories at hand whenever you want.
Oh well, we can always start today! I've got several "it happened at church" stories, so here we go:
My Brothers Kid
Okay, I know I shared this once before, but it fits so perfectly today, that I have to do it again.
We are sitting it the back of a big church one Sunday. My older brother and his family were up in the second row with their children. The Preacher is a-preachin' away.
Their five year old girl gets up, leaves the auditorium to go to the bathroom or something. When she comes back in, she starts tip-toeing down the aisle, stealth mode, slowly sneaking up to the front row. This was a 100 ft of aisle, and everyone she passes can hardly keep from laughing, and the Preacher is now sneaking curious glances her way, trying to act like nothing is happening.
She gets all the way down the aisle to the 2nd row, creeps up behind her Daddy, and yells "BOO!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs.
The whole church erupted in a roar, even the Preacher had to simply stop, laugh, and acknowledge the obvious. I bet God even got a laugh out of that one! Blessed are the children...
Out of 500 hundred people busting a gut laughing, there were only TWO who were not. Can you guess which two people were NOT laughing?
My friends Monty and Sally have some beautiful kids. There youngest girl was a riot. One Sunday morning she almost caused a riot.
We are sitting there in church, and my good friend Greg was preachin' away. Right in the middle of the sermon, Kalie, about three years old, takes off running down the aisle towards the platform and the pulpit. Before she got up on stage, she looked up at Greg and said in that sweet voice of hers, "Hi, Boogers!"
She launches up on to the stage, runs across behind Greg over to the other side of the platform, then turns around with the biggest "I dare you to try and catch me" grin. In the meantime, more to save Sally the embarrassment than anything, Greg just ignores the whole thing and keeps on preaching, with a slight grin of course.
Sally calmly walks up to the stage and gives Kalie the "you better come here" look and finger motion which of course to a child is just all part of the game. So Kalie does exactly what you would expect... she turns around and dives under one of the chairs behind Greg, and like a puppy who won't come out from under the bed, scoots all the way back and as far under as possible.
So Mom hops up on the platform and has to go over the chair and literally drags Kalie out from under the chair who is still thinking this is all a great fun game because Sally has maintained an "I know this is funny but I'm going to kill you when I get you out the door" smile. Smiles means "fun" right? Not, "I have 60 seconds left to live."
Sally straight-jackets Kalie and marches her out, Greg keeps on preaching and never skips a beat although he had that "I know that was hilarious but I'm going to prove I can keep going" twinkle in his eye.
Everyone else was snickering and snorting and probably didn't hear much of the sermon after that. Kalie probably didn't hear much of anything either after Sally got her out of ear shot.
You Coulda Said Something
I was getting ready to teach one morning and scurrying around the church getting stuff ready. I'm about to wet my pants, so I hustle down the hall towards the restroom.
I say "hi" to a couple of ladies standing outside the bathroom door as I go in. I must have been in a REALLY big hurry not to notice the flowery wall paper and pretty smell in the MEN's room... oh, wait a minute... holy cow!!!!!
I high-tailed it out the door to the grins of the two ladies having a good time waiting for me. "How come you didn't say anything" I asked bewildered.
"What fun would that be?" they exclaimed. Tell me God doesn't get a chuckle over stuff like that. Never trust those innocent looking Church Ladies.
Poor women... who hasn't seen this one?
Sitting in church, a lady gets up and goes out. I would guess that she probably visited the powder room because of my superior observation skills a few minutes later.
She comes walking back in, down the aisle, passes us.... skirt hiked up and stuck in her waste band. A few sympathetic women trying to get her attention and even reaching out to pull her dress down as she passes by. In hindsight, pun intended, I'm glad I'm a guy. But of course that leads me to the next story...
Why Are You Snickering At Me?
For many years I've led worship, taught and occassionally preached, so I'm up in front of the congregation routinely.
One Sunday, I'm leading worship and I notice some people kind of whisper-snickering, but didn't think much about it. The worship went on, and at the end I scampered down the steps and took a seat on the front row.
As I reached over and got my Bible, set it on my lap and opened it, can you guess what I saw? Can you guess why they were laughing? Yep, you got it... my zipper was wide open. That was almost as embarrassing as...
Our Pastor was enjoying the freedom of the new-fangled wireless microphone. I guess he drank too much water because after the sermon he exits the auditorium through the side door.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where he went since we heard it all on that great new wireless mic.
First we heard what sounded like pouring water. Then we heard what sounded like.... a toilet flushing.
He came back into the auditorium oblivious to why everyone was looking at him about to bust a gut laughing. That one is evidently pretty common because I've read other accounts from other churches of the same thing. However, that wasn't as bad as...
I Gotta Pee
My mom loves to tell this one on me. We were sitting in church when I was about three or so. The preacher says, "let's pray..." and begins to pray.
Now in the church we grew up in, prayer time was stone silent; no Pentecostal joining in... you listened quietly to someone lead in prayer.
Right dab in the middle of it, I announced loudly (according to Mom), "I GOTTA GO PEE..."
I'm glad I was too young to remember that now although I have plenty of other things to be embarrassed about.
Okay, now it's YOUR turn.
Here's how you get your link on our blog for "Laughter Lives Tuesday!":
- Go to your blog, create a new post for "Laugher Lives Tuesday!". Start by copying and pasting all the following HTML code at the beginning your post.
(NOTE: Make sure you are in HTML mode or view when you paste in HTML code!):
- Then, use the form down at the bottom of this post to enter the title of your BLOG (not your post, your blog), and the link to your blog, or the blog post, either one. (if you don't have a blog, feel free to leave a comment, but we would prefer you put up a post if you have a blog.)
That's it! You'll be linked in today's entries and we'll have a fun and inspiring list of "Laughter Lives" posts for everyone to read!
If there are enough good entries, I will consider publishing them in Serious.Life Magazine, or even creating a new book from them. By including your link here, you agree to give permission for that post to be used in other publications, with proper credit to YOU of course (your screen name and blog address)! Cool?
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Can't wait to read your blog posts for "Laughter Lives Tuesday!"
NEXT WEEK: We're going to so a topic that one of you suggest.... so shoot me an email and let me know what you think would be a funny theme and I'll decide in a couple of days.