We are putting up "Abby Daily Updates" once each day. So look for that later. If you didn't get a chance to see the new issue of Serious.Life Magazine yesterday, I hope you'll take a look.We are getting some FANTASTIC comments about it, and in the first day out, over 7000 people viewed it. It has some great stuff, and thanks to all you blogger friends who helped promote it. We look forward to figuring out more ways to get you involved, and get people seeing YOU in the magazine. If you have ideas for stories, or want to submit content, contact me (brent@brentriggs.com)
Laughter Lives Tuesday:
Funny Things That Happened At...
Church, weddings, funeral, anniversary... any family event.
This should be a LOT of fun, kinda of like "America's Funniest Home Videos" in story form. Looking back, I wish I would have written down every funny thing that's ever happened to us. What incredible joy and stress relief it would be to have those memories at hand whenever you want.
Oh well, we can always start today! I've got several "it happened at church" stories, so here we go:
My Brothers KidOkay, I know I shared this once before, but it fits so perfectly today, that I have to do it again.
We are sitting it the back of a big church one Sunday. My older brother and his family were up in the second row with their children. The Preacher is a-preachin' away.
Their five year old girl gets up, leaves the auditorium to go to the bathroom or something. When she comes back in, she starts tip-toeing down the aisle, stealth mode, slowly sneaking up to the front row. This was a 100 ft of aisle, and everyone she passes can hardly keep from laughing, and the Preacher is now sneaking curious glances her way, trying to act like nothing is happening.
She gets all the way down the aisle to the 2nd row, creeps up behind her Daddy, and yells "BOO!!!!!!" at the top of her lungs.
The whole church erupted in a roar, even the Preacher had to simply stop, laugh, and acknowledge the obvious. I bet God even got a laugh out of that one! Blessed are the children...
Out of 500 hundred people busting a gut laughing, there were only TWO who were not. Can you guess which two people were NOT laughing?
Stage Fright
My friends Monty and Sally have some beautiful kids. There youngest girl was a riot. One Sunday morning she almost caused a riot.
We are sitting there in church, and my good friend Greg was preachin' away. Right in the middle of the sermon, Kalie, about three years old, takes off running down the aisle towards the platform and the pulpit. Before she got up on stage, she looked up at Greg and said in that sweet voice of hers, "Hi, Boogers!"
She launches up on to the stage, runs across behind Greg over to the other side of the platform, then turns around with the biggest "I dare you to try and catch me" grin. In the meantime, more to save Sally the embarrassment than anything, Greg just ignores the whole thing and keeps on preaching, with a slight grin of course.
Sally calmly walks up to the stage and gives Kalie the "you better come here" look and finger motion which of course to a child is just all part of the game. So Kalie does exactly what you would expect... she turns around and dives under one of the chairs behind Greg, and like a puppy who won't come out from under the bed, scoots all the way back and as far under as possible.
So Mom hops up on the platform and has to go over the chair and literally drags Kalie out from under the chair who is still thinking this is all a great fun game because Sally has maintained an "I know this is funny but I'm going to kill you when I get you out the door" smile. Smiles means "fun" right? Not, "I have 60 seconds left to live."
Sally straight-jackets Kalie and marches her out, Greg keeps on preaching and never skips a beat although he had that "I know that was hilarious but I'm going to prove I can keep going" twinkle in his eye.
Everyone else was snickering and snorting and probably didn't hear much of the sermon after that. Kalie probably didn't hear much of anything either after Sally got her out of ear shot.
You Coulda Said Something
I was getting ready to teach one morning and scurrying around the church getting stuff ready. I'm about to wet my pants, so I hustle down the hall towards the restroom.
I say "hi" to a couple of ladies standing outside the bathroom door as I go in. I must have been in a REALLY big hurry not to notice the flowery wall paper and pretty smell in the MEN's room... oh, wait a minute... holy cow!!!!!
I high-tailed it out the door to the grins of the two ladies having a good time waiting for me. "How come you didn't say anything" I asked bewildered.
"What fun would that be?" they exclaimed. Tell me God doesn't get a chuckle over stuff like that. Never trust those innocent looking Church Ladies.
20/20 Hindsight
Poor women... who hasn't seen this one?
Sitting in church, a lady gets up and goes out. I would guess that she probably visited the powder room because of my superior observation skills a few minutes later.
She comes walking back in, down the aisle, passes us.... skirt hiked up and stuck in her waste band. A few sympathetic women trying to get her attention and even reaching out to pull her dress down as she passes by. In hindsight, pun intended, I'm glad I'm a guy. But of course that leads me to the next story...
Why Are You Snickering At Me?
For many years I've led worship, taught and occassionally preached, so I'm up in front of the congregation routinely.
One Sunday, I'm leading worship and I notice some people kind of whisper-snickering, but didn't think much about it. The worship went on, and at the end I scampered down the steps and took a seat on the front row.
As I reached over and got my Bible, set it on my lap and opened it, can you guess what I saw? Can you guess why they were laughing? Yep, you got it... my zipper was wide open. That was almost as embarrassing as...
Open Mic
Our Pastor was enjoying the freedom of the new-fangled wireless microphone. I guess he drank too much water because after the sermon he exits the auditorium through the side door.
It didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out where he went since we heard it all on that great new wireless mic.
First we heard what sounded like pouring water. Then we heard what sounded like.... a toilet flushing.
He came back into the auditorium oblivious to why everyone was looking at him about to bust a gut laughing. That one is evidently pretty common because I've read other accounts from other churches of the same thing. However, that wasn't as bad as...
I Gotta Pee
My mom loves to tell this one on me. We were sitting in church when I was about three or so. The preacher says, "let's pray..." and begins to pray.
Now in the church we grew up in, prayer time was stone silent; no Pentecostal joining in... you listened quietly to someone lead in prayer.
Right dab in the middle of it, I announced loudly (according to Mom), "I GOTTA GO PEE..."
I'm glad I was too young to remember that now although I have plenty of other things to be embarrassed about.
Okay, now it's YOUR turn.
Here's how you get your link on our blog for "Laughter Lives Tuesday!":
- Go to your blog, create a new post for "Laugher Lives Tuesday!". Start by copying and pasting all the following HTML code at the beginning your post.
(NOTE: Make sure you are in HTML mode or view when you paste in HTML code!): - Then, use the form down at the bottom of this post to enter the title of your BLOG (not your post, your blog), and the link to your blog, or the blog post, either one. (if you don't have a blog, feel free to leave a comment, but we would prefer you put up a post if you have a blog.)
That's it! You'll be linked in today's entries and we'll have a fun and inspiring list of "Laughter Lives" posts for everyone to read!
If there are enough good entries, I will consider publishing them in Serious.Life Magazine, or even creating a new book from them. By including your link here, you agree to give permission for that post to be used in other publications, with proper credit to YOU of course (your screen name and blog address)! Cool?
http://www.seriouslifemagazine.com/ - FREE subscriptions...
Can't wait to read your blog posts for "Laughter Lives Tuesday!"
NEXT WEEK: We're going to so a topic that one of you suggest.... so shoot me an email and let me know what you think would be a funny theme and I'll decide in a couple of days.
12 comments:
Okay, I have a few stories, but I just have to share one that I read on a Mom's blog. She writes about Reflux and babies...something we share.
Here is her story..I laughed SO hard!!!
It was storming really bad one night in College Station. (You know those Texas storms - everything's bigger in Texas.) The wind was blowing like crazy. It was lightning and thundering like mad - the kind where you see the big flash of light and then two seconds later, BOOM, it sounds like a bomb has gone off. Then the hail started. I was convinced someone was chunking baseballs onto the roof.
Russ, of course, was calm as can be. Tornadoes. Ho-hum. But he did turn the tv in the bedroom on to the local news station, just to check. They were reporting on the status of the storm, giving out the usual advice: "Stay away from windows. Don't go under trees." (Whoops. Our bedroom was right by a gigantic oak tree. Our bed was pushed up right against the window.) I guess that's around the time Russell drifted off.
I was on the couch in the living room with my fingers in my ears and my eyes clenched closed, trying my darndest not to fritz out. About thirty minutes passed when I heard this scream. A scream like none other I've ever heard before. The scream of an insane, completely freaked out, hysterical woman.
EEEEEEAAAAAAA!!!
I jumped off of the couch and started running towards the bedroom. I rounded the corner to the hallway in time to see Russell leap off the bed, Superman-like, and "fly"/skid on his face into the hall. I was so scared for him. What in the world was wrong?? He was still lying face-down in the carpet when I reached out to touch his back.
DON'T TOUCH ME. I'M POLARIZED!
Poor boy. I found out the next morning, when Russ appeared in the kitchen with carpet burns on his face, neck, and arms, that he had been dreaming that he had been caught out in the storm and had felt the hairs on his arms stand up, signaling that he had been "polarized" and was about to be struck by lightning.
His arm had actually just fallen asleep, thus the tingles, but in the haze of a deep sleep, he didn't know that. In his foggy state, he had lept into the hall to get low and flat, to try to avoid the strike.
He avoided the strike. But he provided his wife with an excellent story to tell.
Her blog.
http://kritterkrit.blogspot.com/2007/07/sleep-talking.html
Hilarious stuff!
Just posted mine!
oh my...your stories are really great!!!! :D :D I couldn´t stop laughing... :D
Hi Brent. This is my first time here. I have been sitting here reading for oh about an hour or so. Love the magazine as well. Awesome.
I will be praying for you and your family. As I know first hand how hard it is to have cancer so close. I will be back to read regularly. Many blessings to you and yours.
Hey how won the caption contest?
Hi! I came upon your blog several months ago through a friend. We also have an adopted daughter (20 months old) from Hannah's Hope in Guatemala. Our family has been praying for Abby for several months now and very much enjoyed looking at the latest issue of Serious Life. Is there a way I can put a link to the magazine with the cover photo on my blog?
You can email me at vanzanten5@att.net. Thanks.
Having an anxious ten year old and a very wiggly three year old, we sit in the VERY last row at church....besides, we're Lutheran, so you've practically got to show up and reserve the back pew--everyone wants it.
Last week, a fellow church member came in with her brand new baby and sat right in front of our wiggly three year old. Our littest has only been an american a couple of months and not having much English can barely follow church, but when we signaled her to quiet down because the "baby" is sleeping we were sure she'd understand the rocking cupped hands motion." Instead she shouted "OH!" and sprinted directly to the front of the church and kneeled for communion. Right in the middle of the sermon.
At least she didn't wake the baby.
So funny, everyone! My daughters and I have loved this one!
My friends were in church and their daughter kept falling on the ground and getting up again. They were beginning to get cross with her and told her to stop behaving like that in church, to which she replied 'But I can't help it... Jesus keeps pushing me!'
This is one of my all-time favorite kid stories. It's completely innocent, but it deals with a slightly "sketchy" subject, so feel free to delete it if you need to (after laughing yourself silly, of course!)
*Names have been changed to protect the guilty. Hee.
******
My friend, Jessie, and her husband were in the middle of doing a bathroom remodel. The bathroom was in shambles, junk everywhere, but the "essentials" still worked, so the family continued using it to shower, etc.
Jessie had just gotten out of the shower and was toweling off when their three-year old daughter, Kelsey, barged in.
"Mama, I...", she started to say, when she stopped mid-sentence, stared hard for a few seconds, and turned on her heel and exited the room.
Jessie noticed she had a weird look on her face - a mixture of confusion and amazement. A look that you KNOW as a parent can't be a good thing.
Weeks passed without incident, until one morning at church Kelsey said she had to go to the bathroom.
So Jessie took Kelsey to the restroom, and then had her stand right outside the stall while she went to the restroom as well.
She had been in the stall for a minute or two when she heard a knock on the door...
"Mama?"
"Yes, Kelsey? I'll be out in just a second, honey."
"Mama? ...Mama! OPEN THAT DOOR AND SHOW ME THAT FUR OF YOURS AGAIN!!"
Jessie heard a few snickers and snorts in the restroom, followed by a deafening silence. She was contemplating a way to live there in the tiny stall forever, when she heard...
"Ma-maaaaaa! Please open the door and show me that cute little squirrel that lives under your belly-button."
******
Jessie told me that she still hasn't told her super-modest and easily embarrassed husband what happened in the bathroom that day, for fear he will make them change churches IMMEDIATELY. =)
P.S Thanks for the shout-out, Kristine. The Polarized Story is a favorite in our family.
One morning in church our minister offered a time in which a cordless microphone was available to anyone who wanted to offer a word of thanks for their blessings in the past year. As a man began to speak into the microphone my son looked around the room trying to see who was speaking. When he couldn't see who it was talking he looked at me with his eyes wide as could be & asked, "Mommy? Is that GOD????"
Kim S.
St. Paul, MN
I dont have a blog, but love to read yours and a few others! Here is my story:
After church everyone always fellowships. My four yr old son (now 6) comes bounding into the sanctuary while my husband and I are speaking with the pastor and associate pastor. Im watching my son's head going from side to side as he is watching/listening to our conversation. Now, most kids are honest. My son? He would pass any polygraph (as long as he is being questioned about other people :). I can tell that he is about to burst from not being able to join the conversation. The pastor (a very sweet, young, and larger man) acknowledges him and they begin a conversation. 2 minutes into the conversation my 4 yr old reaches up, pats the pastor on his belly and proclaims: "You are fat". I am very aware of the words I say when my boys are around and never had he heard me use that word regarding anyone's size. I was mortified. I wanted Jesus to take me to heaven right then! Everyone was laughing, including the associate pastor. My son then turns and says to the associate pastor: "you're fat too". He did not say anything maliciously and you could tell he was making an observation but I wanted to crawl under a pew.
(Im typing this with a fever, strep throat and splitting headache so ignore typos and grammar.) Praying for you guys!!
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