Jenny asked: I am sure you’ve answered this before, and I see some similar questions...how could my home daycare send cards?
Christine asked: I am not sure if you have posted this before, but could you please share the mailing info for Abby, I would like to send her a small care package! Thanks! Still Praying in FL!
Netherlands asked: We would like to send you a gift from the Netherlands. Can you please let us how we can do that. And can you tell me your vision on spanking and why you choose to use this. What is the bible saying about spanking?
Sarah asked: Can you further explain who came into the marriage with which children? Are any of them biological? I’m sure this has been answered somewhere. Also have you formally adopted all of the children? What I mean is, are all the children pictured in your banner, legally yours, I know they are in your heart!
Ange asked: I was wondering what you and Michelle’s situation was before finding each other? How long had you been single? Have you both gone through divorces? Do your older kids have other sets of parents you have to share with?
LaDonna asked: How do you guys decide to keep giving Abby Chemo? I know that there have in the course of treating cancer that they say we can continue but there is not much hope. Have ya’ll discussed this at all? I pray for your family all the time, that God heals Abby and helps give her strength to endure to the end to be healed!
Melanie asks: My three year old Sophie prays for your sweet Abby every day. She always says “I love her mommy.” Sophie wants to know if Abby has any of her very own scrubs? If she doesn’t, Sophie would like to know if Abby wants her grandma to make her some?
Answers by Brent
Jenny, Christine, Netherlands & Melanie:
If you will email me, I'll give you an address. Thanks so much for thinking of us and showing kindness to our family. email@example.com
Abby would LOVE a pair of scrubs. She plays "doctor" alot and has a whole "medical kit". She would really love that... thank you!
We've answered the spanking question in a previous post here. If you have more questions after reading that, let us know.
Before Michelle and I married, I had three biological children. Michelle had one. We adopted three. Michelle adopted Abby shortly before we met. We adopted Landis immediately after getting married, and then Sami. We would probably have already adopted again but this wouldn't be the right time to introduce another child into the family.
Yes, all the children are legally officially ours.
Our situation before we got married was Michelle had been her whole life for me, and I had been searching for her my whole life. Our only regret is that we didn't find each other 20 years sooner.
Yes, we were both divorced, not by choice. I'll leave that one there.
Michelle's ex-husband was only around for a short time, and chose not to be part of his son's life for the last decade or more. My ex-wife maintained a relationship with our three children after choosing to leave the marriage.
Yes, we've discussed "how much, how long, how many times, etc". It's a difficult conversation to have obviously but we do have it. We don't sit around and casually discuss "what if Abby dies" but we have not pretended it can't happen and ignored discussing "what if?"
While there is no formuala or rule we could describe, we both agree that we do not want Abby to endlessly suffer in treatment. It will be a delicate balancing act to determine how much suffering is worth how much of a chance to be cured? How much suffering is simply "too much, too long" regardless of the chance of cure? What degree of suffering is worth any chance of cure?
After all, the "worse" that can happen to Abby is that she goes to heaven and be with Jesus, and skip the hardships of the life. That does not cause us to be flippant or hopeful for her death but realize that the great sadness of her passing will be for US, not her. We are mature enough to admit that Abby would be happier with Jesus than with us, even if she were NOT sick. This is true for EVERY person.
But we love her beyond measure, and we long to have her stay with us. God's will be done.
In the long run, we may endure a short season of grief for ourselves if Abby does not survive, but only for a vapor of time which will become a distance memory in the blink of an eternal eye. We bring this to mind, that our momentary trials are not worthy to be compared to the eternal riches and glory that our Savior is preparing for us even now, as I type, as you read.
Sound familiar? Where have I read that before?