Open "Season Answer: Response to Hardship

Name Withheld asked:
I've seen others who talk about God alot and then when things get tough, they get all out of sorts and seem to have an "I don't care what anyone thinks..." attitude. All the nice Christian talk seems to go by the way side. What makes you different? I've never seen you all react like that. It is just an image you put on, or do you really remain faithful and trusting in God even when Abby's life is in the balance (or whatever tough thing)? What's different about you and your wife?

Brent answers:

First, let me make sure I'm clear about one thing... I cannot, and do not, judge the heart, spirituality or maturity of other people that I don't know well (and even then, it would only be for the sake of counseling them). We can judge actions and behaviors as right or wrong compared to Scripture, but we cannot and must not, judge the heart-motives of others (this is the type of judging the Bible condemns).

So whatever responses or attitudes others are displaying, that is between them and God, and not for me to comment on, or compare myself to (short of them cursing God or something which is clearly wrong according to plain Scripture). In other words, I would have nothing to say about someone in seriously difficult situation who said "I'm angry at God. I don't deserve this".... but I would say something about someone who cursed God and said He is not faithful or trustworthy. One is based on looking into another person's heart; the other is based on clear Truth found in Scripture.

If another person is responding to hardship with words, attitudes or behaviors that appears to be less than the Christian standard they otherwise profess during good times, you have two options: pray for them or communicate with them directly. Depending on the severity of the situation, we should respond with ample compassion and understanding. We don't know what they are experiencing; we don't know where they are in their walk spiritually. Everyone is at a different point of growth and maturity... difficult times are what HELP us mature. There is no INSTANT strength or maturity, it is gained step by step.

Now, I will answer for the one person I can answer for: me. We've been asked before if we are "faking" our faith and trust in God. Read that answer here...

For us, what you see is what you get. Good times or hard times, we know that the only real hope in this often difficult life is to simply trust God with childlike faith. That is the whole mean of the verse that says "unless you become like little children..."

We've been through a lot and God has given us ample opportunity to learn to live in faith, trust and joy. It is NO credit to us... God is the only source of maturity and faith. He provides the opportunity to grow, He provides the growth, then He provides the blessing of that growth. God, God, God... not us.

Predictably, as you live through experiences filled with faith, trust and joy, it gets somewhat easier to do so in the future. As you see God work, care and provide time and time again, it becomes more and more automatic to respond appropriately and genuinely.

There is no reason to "lose it", get wigged out, curse or abandon self control, either in action or word. By doing so we do not avail ourselves of the blessing God has for us by choosing to calmly, obediently and confidently trusting Him, NO MATTER WHAT, NO MATTER HOW HARD, NO MATTER HOW DIRE.

One of my favorite sayings is "when you squeeze a lemon, you get lemon juice". The point being that whatever is really inside a person, comes out when the pressure is on. So if responses or choices come forth in times of pressure that are LESS than your desired standard, it should serve to TEACH us that we have some work to do spiritually. That work usually involves increasing our knowledge and understanding, asking forgiveness for our poor words or responses, and then setting our mind to be prepared to respond with a higher standard NEXT TIME... and there WILL be a next time, trust me.

Everyone is in a state of "growth" and we should compassionately allow them to grow without being too critical or hard in our estimation. Life is TOUGH. As long as we are learning and growing, then we are moving in the right direction.

I just finished a series on "Having a Joy-Filled Life in Troubled Times" that partially answers this questions and gives a long list of reasons why we can remain authentically joyful even in the most trying circumstances... Find it at www.seriousfaith.com

... like when your 4 year old daughter is in the hospital and you don't know if she will live or die.

You know, times like that.

~ Brent