Rachael....chanan7@gmail.com asked:I see that you are a busy professional blogger...etc, I have always wanted a 3 column blog, but I am not sure how to accomplish that. We also have a website www.iamgreenonline.com and I want to get someone else to work on it and also download it to another webhost. Can you help or can you direct me to someone who is willing to help us at a cheaper rate. We have a great product, but this site was not only to make the public aware, but to also help us pay on our adoption expenses. Please Help...
You can do a Google search for “three column Blogger templates” and you’ll find plenty, many of them free. As for finding web help at a cheaper rate, I’m not sure what you consider cheap. There are LOTS of people doing basic web stuff nowadays. If you ask around with the people you know and put the word out you’re looking for someone, you’ll probably get your choice. I wouldn’t be surprised if someone reads this from our blog and contacts you.
Sissy asked:
How do you feel or believe about divorces among Christians (reasons other than fornication) and then when they remarry, is that ok with Christ? Is it still unto death we do part that we are united to that person or are you free to go on and remarry in Gods eyes?
Since you ask the question “is that okay with Christ”, I’ll answer that God has given us His Written Word in the Bible, and the only thing we can say for sure is “okay with Christ” is what we can clearly find in Scripture. The rest, we are left to pray about and follow our own conscience, and then personally answer to God for those choices.
The Bible allows divorce for adultery and abandonment. In both cases, the “victim” is free to remarry only another Christian. The “guilty” party is not free to remarry. That is the nutshell of what the Bible teaches on the matter.
MY OPINION: As for those people who divorced for a reason not mentioned or allowed in Scripture and have remarried, they should NOT seek a divorce. God does not call us to disobey Him in order to go back and fix a sin. In other words, we are not to divorce now and say we are just trying to get back to some point of obedience because we never should have remarried in the first place. (I’ve seen people use this logic because what they really want is to be out of their 2nd marriage). Christians are to seek to obey God TODAY, in whatever situation they have found themselves in.
For those who are currently divorced for a reason not allowed in Scripture and not already remarried, if you are a Christian, the answer is categorically “NO”: you cannot simply remarry anyway and expect it to be pleasing to Christ. You are directly disobeying Him… how can that be pleasing? It doesn’t matter what we think or feel about this Biblical mandate. It is clear, and to ignore cannot please God. It’s not easy. Often we feel it’s too hard.
Most people, and pretty much all non-Christians, see the Bible’s commands about marriage to be punitive and unfair. They are not. They are intended to convey to Christians the seriousness of marriage, and make us award of how much God hates divorce. They are there to help us choose divorce only as a last resort, understanding what the consequences are. The destruction of the longevity and commitment of marriage destroys society, a fact we can well see in America today. Marriage is THE basic building block of human community, and to treat it lightly and casually is to invite all sorts of societal breakdown (again, something we clearly see in America and the West today). People, and even alarming number of Christians, view marriage like this: “if I’m happy, I’m committed; God doesn’t want me to be unhappy”. I can’t count the number of times I’ve been asked or heard “so you think God wants me to be unhappy the rest of my life?” I think God wants us to obey His Word and wait for His promise to bless us and care for us.
I truly wish I could tell some Christian who is divorced unBiblically to go ahead and remarry – just don’t make the same mistake again – but that would be clearly defying what the Bible states in plain language.
Sam asked:
You said we can ask anything LOL - how do you feel about circumcision? I know people of Jewish faith do it for religious purposes, is there anything in the New Testament that speaks either for or against it?
No, there is no New Testament command or implication either way. It is a matter of liberty for parents to decide for themselves. It is a matter of conscience.
JG asked:
Brent, Why do you think men are more reluctant or more skeptical to believe in God?
Twenty years ago I might agree with your premise, but anymore, I don’t think men are more prone to reject God. I think it’s pretty equal now in a society that has been raised to be skeptical about God and the Bible. In the past (25-75 years ago) I think maybe we just created a bit of an environment where it was considered “women’s work” to care for the family spiritually. Some might argue that it is harder for men because we approach it more logically, while women rely more on feeling and emotion (as a general rule). We are created in God’s image and He instill us with both: logic and emotion, intelligence and feeling.
Rejecting God on either basic (logic or feeling) is a blunder. There is irrefutable and undeniable logical and intelligent evidence that supports God’s existence, and the Bible as His supernaturally delivered Word. Rejecting God based solely on feeling is just careless and frankly, stupid. You want to risk your eternity based on your feelings? And yet, I cannot count the number of people who write me and say “I don’t care what you think; I FEEL LIKE God loves everyone and I KNOW IN MY HEART He would never send someone to hell.” Okay then, have it your way… base your eternal destination on what YOU FEEL while ignoring the evidence to the contrary.
I would never want to base my medical care on FEELING. I want to base it on feeling PLUS evidence, logic and fact. I’m not going to build my business on FEELING; I want to use feeling PLUS evidence, logic, principles and fact. I could name a dozen more things but you get the point. If I’m unwilling to base THIS life on subjective and often WRONG feelings, why in the world would I base my eternity on what I FEEL rather than making the effort to find out and consider the facts, logic and evidence? I’m amazed at how flippant and careless people are about their eternal destination.
People may feel good NOW appearing to be tolerant and “loving” by saying “I feel like God will accept everyone” but they are tossing their eternal destiny to the winds of their emotions based on NOTHING but their gut feeling. In that case, of course we FEEL LIKE “all roads lead to heaven”. To say anything less will invite both scrutiny and criticism. But the fact is our feelings are not trustworthy (by themselves) about many (most?) things, much less eternity.
On the other hand, you cannot come to a true relationship with God based solely on an intellectual or logical effort. It takes both: understanding and heart; emotion and logic; feelings and intellect. The FACTS compel us to believe and our HEART allows us to take that step of faith.
JG asked:
What happened to the answers to the adoption questions? Did I miss them?
Michelle is working on them. She wants to answer them all, but is just now finding time to really get to them after the long hard months of being in the hospital with Abby.
Deanne asked:
My husband and I are really frustrated with the reaction from others, especially Christians, about our choice to adopt a child from Ethiopia. My husband is to the point that when someone asks The Question all adoptive parents cringe at “why don’t you adopt from the US?” that he now just growls and walks away. Do you all have any suggestions?
Not really. That question is just one of several that are frustrating. You are never going to make everyone happy, so it’s really futile to even worry about it. If someone is particularly aggressive with that question, ask them “if you are so concerned why don’t YOU adopt someone domestically?” If that person has adopted domestically and is forcing their preference on you basically all you can say is “we feel like God wanted us to adopt from Ethiopia, and we are just obeying Him the best we know how.”
The one comment that my wife and I have to bite our tongue about (and it’s usually said innocently) is “so you have four REAL children and three adopted?” or “so four our YOURS and three are adopted?” I know what people really mean so we don’t get too bothered, but that is one of the comments that grinds on us a bit.
Deanne asked:
Hello, we are a family in WV. We have three boys and are in the process of adopting a little girl that is six months old from Ethiopia. I am a huge child advocate and HIV advocate. I was reading *Too Small To Ignore* by Dr. Wess Stafford. He mentioned there was no Childrens Hall of Fame anymore. I was so inspired that I created a Childrens Blog of Fame, since of course we cant actually build one. I am also wondering as is the reader above how to get more readers interested in this blog.
Getting people interested in a blog is simple: you consistently write good content, and you get the word out: email, commenting on other blogs, participating in forums, using social sites like Facebook and Twitter. There is no MAGIC, quick solution and beware of anyone who offers one. It’s a waste of time and money. It takes good old fashioned time and effort. It’s the snowball effect. Just start with a little, and start rolling it around. It will pick up size and momentum as you go, but you have to do the hard work in the beginning.
Amie asked:
Need some Biblical answers. Both my husband and I were born again Christians but walked away November 2007 after serious complications with the birth of our son. The pastors wife told the congregation the reason why we went through this was because we weren’t tithing our 10%. We totally don’t understand why this happened and we WANT to know where we can go in the bible that we weren’t being punished. Were we can find some peace.
First of all, I will say categorically that this “Pastor’s wife” is shameful and manipulative. She will face God personally for this kind of egregious spiritual abuse.
For those of you who would like some Bible answers about tithing, here’s what I’ve written on it:
http://www.seriousfaith.com/asr/question.asp?questionid=2540http://www.seriousfaith.com/asr/question.asp?questionid=1325http://www.seriousfaith.com/asr/question.asp?questionid=648Are there times when Christians may suffer physical ailment because of sin? Apparently so since the Bible plainly says some people were sick and died because they were not participating in Communion in the manner which God asked. (1Corinthians 11:27) But the New Testament does not teach the commonly held notion that if you are suffering IT MUST BE BECAUSE you have some specific sin you are being punished for.
Sometimes we suffer the consequences of sin, of course. A pregnant mother doing drugs, smoking and getting drunk may birth a child with big problems. Is that being punished for sin? In a very real sense, yes. What about the wasteful, lazy person who finds themselves in poverty and hunger? Are they suffering because of their own specific sin? Yes. The principle here is clear and easy to identify.
Other parents may have children who get sick or have physical problems who are simply suffering the GENERAL consequences of sin… what I mean is this: when Adam and Eve sinned, they introduced the sin curse into all creation. Because of it, we get sick, we die, we suffer. One day, this sin curse will be removed and there will be no more suffering or sickness. In the mean time, every human, good or bad, saved or unsaved lives with the consequences of the physical curse of sin that causes sickness, disease and heartache. It’s a fact we are all painfully aware of.
Unless there is compelling and clear evidence (like the pregnant drug addict) to say “you are suffering from your sinful choices”, it is outside the realm of humans to be able to determine WHY things happen like what you experienced (except to generically say is it because we ALL have to live with the curse of sin and what it has done to humanity).
You need to find a sound group of spiritually mature Christians who will love you and show you real Christianity. There is a shameful amount of this kind of spiritual abuse by self-proclaimed Christian leaders who twist Scripture to get people to do what they want (often it is to get them to give money).
jpjack2@msn.com asked:
In photography, how can I get my backgrounds “blurry” while keeping the main object sharp? I am a a pre-beginner! Have regular Kodak digital camera and 7 gorgeous grandchildren for subjects!! Thank you so much!
This is difficult to do with a common pocket digital. Much of this ability comes from the camera lens which is just beyond what a pocket camera lens is capable of. The blurriness is caused by the size of the aperture opening of the lens which focuses on a foreground object and is “out of focus” on the background (blurry). You can get a little bit of this effect by shooting close to your subject and having the objects in the background far in the distance. That’s about as close as you will get with a pocket digital. You really need a DSLR with the right lenses to get this effect consistently.
You can manually blur the backgrounds with an image editor, but no matter how good you are with something like Photoshop, it never looks as good, or as real, as an actual photo that has the blur because of the lens.
If you want to find out more, go to Canon’s site, and research the capabilities of lenses. This will help you understand this concept better.
http://www.usa.canon.com/consumer/controller?act=ProductCatIndexAct&fcategoryid=111Fairy Wonderful asked:
I am new at blogging and I need any advise I can get... how do I get more traffic to my blog??? I am a stay at home mom with 3 kids the last one being born 3 months early and unfortunately I don’t do this as a hobby it is my livelihood... so any advise would be much appreciated. Thanks!!
Read the comment above where I talk about getting more traffic. Also, here is a great free report to read to get you started:
http://chrisguillebeau.com/3x5/overnight-success/Also, for the mechanics of blogging, and ideas on how to grow your blog, one of the best sites is
http://www.problogger.com/Dene asked:
The negative comments that you’ve posted made me wonder if anyone has ever said those types of things to your face and how you reacted if they did. I’m thinking specifically of the ones who questioned your decision to keep Abby in treatment. You’re so cordial in your answers, but I wondered if it was harder in person. Praying for you.
It’s actually easier in person because you don’t have people hiding behind anonymity. People are much less “brave” face to face, and usually we are able to give a kind answer that helps them understand that these tough decisions by hurting parents should not be second guessed and criticized by those who haven’t walked in their shoes.
Sue asked:
Hi again! Just repeating the question about creative ways for spouses and children to stay connected through deployments, and the effect of deployments on families, as we prepare for my husband’s second deployment with our 3 children. Thanks!
When I was deployed for Desert Storm it was for a year and a half. Back then we had the phone calls but even email was not common yet. We didn’t have texting, Twitter, Internet or cell phones. All of those are common today but of course your husband needs access to them. I’m not sure how much the military makes that kind of technology available. Can some of your current military families enlighten me on what it available to the deployed troops?
The most important thing I tell the families of the deployed is to immediately plug in and get hooked up with a “family” of other Christians who can support you, and help you with the loneliness. The Christian men in your community and church need to STEP UP and help be good male role models for your children, as well as assist you with “man” stuff you need done around the house and yard.
Hopefully, Dad will have access to the Internet occasionally, and you can share video calls, email and audio pretty easily. That is a huge blessing that was not available a decade or two ago.
My Roller Coaster Life asked:
Hi Brent, can you explain step by step how to create a blog badge? Thanks! I’ll do a demo on this soon…
Pita (PPrincess2424@aol.com) asked:
Brent I want to ask you a question about drugs ! My Mother has been in the hospital for doing 14 times in the last year with being on the vent 7 times ...my question to you is my mother going to make it to heaven even though she is a drug addict ? How do I deal with my anger and not blame God? I have been struggling with this for a while and since you’re a godly man and I trust what you have to say I just wanted your outlook on this.
Thanks for the kind compliment and your trust in my opinion and judgment.
First, your mother’s salvation is dependent on one thing only: her obedient respond to God’s offer of eternal life on His terms. I am not, nor could be, the judge of whether someone is saved or not. We can look at the “fruit” of someone’s life and have some indication. In the same way I can see apples on a tree and say “that is an apple tree”, we can see the product of someone’s life and have some idea of whether or not they are a “Christian tree”.
If your mother’s life is showing no “fruit” that would give you reason to believe she is a “Christian tree”, then your first and foremost effort should be to proclaim the Gospel to her: you are a sinner and only God can rescue you from both the life, and the life to come. Speak God’s Word to her which is sharper than a razor and able to cut deep into her heart and show her the Truth.
Why would you be angry with God about your mother’s choices? That makes no more sense than you being mad at me for what your mother chooses. Why are you angry at all? Sad, yes. Disappointed, of course, but why angry? Your mother has just as much right to choose her own course in life as you do. And you have no more control over her than she does of you. You anger is simply a choice. Don’t be angry. And certainly don’t be angry at God who is waiting with open arms for your mother to repent and be saved. God deserves the OPPOSITE of anger from you, for He is waiting and hoping and desiring that your mother turn to Him.
Pray for her. Love her. Speak God’s Word to her. Don’t be angry. Rejoice that as long as she has breath, God is waiting for her with open arms.
Melanie asked:
My husband’s family is very different from mine, they are not as touchy feely and can be a little flaky. I would love to talk to them all the time (they live a few hours away), but sometimes they don’t even call us back when we call them. They even reacted poorly when they found out we were pregnant with #3 and #4. I’m a really busy mom with 4 kids under 5yrs old, but I want to make time for them. Can you tell me what is the Christian way to react/reach out/respond to them? Thanks!
Relationship is a two way street. Our parents (or any of our family) are PEOPLE too just like us, with all their quirks and problems. Sometimes our family is not nice. Sometimes they are bums and downright mean. People are people.
I would say that you need to continue to reach out as “family” but if you think that “doing more” is going to change them, I’m afraid you will be disappointed. Sometimes we a choose a life (lots of kids and activity) that others in our family don’t like or don’t enjoy, and that’s just “life”.
The “Christian way” is to continue to honor them and offer to be a part of their lives, but if they don’t want it, or make it difficult, your first duty is to your husband and children, not parents. Ideally, it all works together and things are wonderful but sometimes we have parents who are difficult, selfish, manipulative, demanding and hard to please. That’s just reality. Only THEY can change how they behave. Your only Christian duty is to continue to be loving, make reasonable attempts to include them in “family” togetherness and make reasonable accommodations for their particular quirks. But when those quirks becomes Unreasonable, it is not incumbent on you to bend to the whims of others. Be kind, be loving, offer to include them, make an effort… past that, focus on your children and husband and just accept that the other is what it is. It’s a little disappointing when we have to finally accept that our parents (or some other family member) isn’t going to be the ideal we hoped for, but again, that’s just part of life that we cannot change, therefore we shouldn’t try or eat up our emotions with it.
Gary asked:
I don’t see much about your life history. Can you give us the 60 second, bullet point version of your life? Where you’ve been, what you’ve done, highlights of your life, what you’ve accomplished, what failed; don’t be bashful or humble. I think those of us who read your blog would know you better this way.
Michelle will have to answer this one for herself if she wants, but I’ll do a rapid fire version of my life. So to the best of my memory, here is a rapid fire highlight nutshell of my life:
Born in Clinton Oklahoma. Dad in the Army. Mom managed day care centers. We were never in day care though. Public schools. Typical childhood. Playing. Fun. Chores. Had a dog named Skipper. Fought with my twin brother a lot. High school in Claremore, Oklahoma. Competitive tennis from age 15 which I still do now. Played softball for decades. Above average in whatever sports I played. Was the “artist” in our school. Always knew I’d do something with art. Managed restaurants at age 19. A year of art school but computers came out so I dropped out to learn graphics on my own. Went into the Army. Drill Sergeant for many years. Desert Storm. Got married. Worked on the Space Shuttle for 5 years, 29 launches. Black belt in Kenpo. Learned to play the guitar. My first real graphics design job with Lockheed. Active in church, taught and spoke often. Led worship for many years. Sang in Southern Gospel groups most of my life. Lived in North Carolina building houses for a while then moved back to Oklahoma. Suffered through the heartache of unwanted divorce. Started writing. A fanatic at reading and self educating. Learned web development, programming and database. Together with graphics and photography, started creating my own websites and blogs. Helped start several businesses. Continued learning business and technology. More writing. Routine teaching, mentoring and consulting. Started some magazines and online stuff. Got married. Adopted kids. Live in a very small town, work from a home office. Write daily, teach, speak, create things. Love my family. Very happy… to be continued.
That’s probably more than you ever wanted to know, and there’s a WHOLE LOT more I didn't bore you with… if you have any other questions about my “life”, I’m happy to answer.
One thing I’ve learned in my short 40 something years… my life is neither more important or more significant – or less important or less significant – than the lives of 20 billion other people who have lived and died. So I’m pretty transparent about my life, good or bad. My only hope is that something I have done or will do, will make some difference in a few lives for the good.
Brent Riggs asked:Do you think anyone will have any questions today?
I hope so. I love answering questions. What I can’t figure out is why you ask yourself questions that you then answer for yourself. That’s kind of weird isn’t it?
Finally, "Terrorist To Evangelist: The True Story of Ken McClinton" is published and available.
Landis prays so sweetly for everyone in our entire family.
Laugher Lives Tuesday is a day when we all get to look forward to a good laugh. No rules, no stress, just OPEN SEASON FUNNY!
Kristen with Abby
