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Jan 16, 2010

Echos From the Past

From Michelle:

Abby had a fairly good night last night (Friday) but woke up with a fever of 104. Not good for any child but more serious for a child like Abby with a chemo weakened immune system. Thankfully Tylenol brought her temperature down to normal.

Abby is now on 2 IV antibiotics, had cultures and x-rays done. All very standard for a child with cancer. Abby was sleeping sitting up again during the day. Her ENT doctor thinks it maybe because of obstructive apnea but it will take asleep study and other tests to know for sure. Obviously it is hard for Abby to get the healing rest she needs sleeping indian style in the middle of her bed. Our sweet princess is one exhausted little girl.

I am not sure what her doctors will decide to do in the morning. If Abby's labs look good and if her temperature stays down and if her breathing looks good, we may get to go home soon, but that is a lot of ifs. On one hand, I hope she gets to go home soon but on the other hand I am still concerned and willing to stay put as long as necessary.

As I wrote the above paragraph, Abby fell asleep and is snoring and then her breathing is pausing. Abby's breathing is very hard for me to listen to. It opens a floodgate of memories. I have already lost one daughter because of problems she had with her airway. Technically she was my foster daughter. I wanted to adopt her and I loved her with all of my heart. Listening to Abby breathe "weird" for the last month has been one of the hardest things I have gone through since Abby was diagnosed. Not only does it make me concerned for Abby, it also makes me miss Katie so much it takes my breath away.

Thank you for continuing to pray for Abby and our family.

27 comments:

Kat said...

We are aching for you here and praying. I didn't know about the heart ache in your past and am praying for all your hearts as well as peace and complete healing. May God's Hand be on you all.....

Tracey's Life said...

Oh Michelle, my heart is breaking for you and your family. I pray with all my heart that Abby recovers quickly and the doctors are able to help that sweet little girl. I pray for you to have the strength to continue this path as you help your darling girl.

Denise said...

I will pray for sweet little Abby. I know how difficult it is to sit in a hospital room with your child. I will pray for you to.

kristi.guillory said...

Big big big giant hugs to you and Abby! Gosh it's hard being a mom, and even harder not being able to make the bad stuff go away...I didn't know about Katie, that breaks my heart, I'm so sorry.

Paul and Angela said...

Wow, I did not know about Katie. You are such a strong woman and a wonderful caretaker and mother. There is a definite reason God has placed these children in your life. I continue to pray for Abby all the time.

Are These Kids All Yours? said...

If you were a foster mom- she was your daughter (we were foster parents too).....so sorry. It must be sooo scary. I can't imagine. We will continue our prayers.

Masto Mama said...

My heart just aches for you so much Michelle. Thanks for sharing your heart so that we know how to pray. Know that we love you, Abby, and your sweet family, and are praying from afar. Sending lots of hugs....

Betsy said...

I am praying for Abby, and for you Michelle. Thank you for sharing with us. May God wrap his arms around you both, and let you rest well tonight.

Betsy

Naomi said...

Hi Michelle. When I saw all the fun Disney pictures and the ones of Abby so happy and cute with her hair all grown in and in bows I let myself believe she would be fine and this would just be "routine maintenance chemo". Obviously not the case. I will renew my prayers for you and your family.
Having a bad past experience and being a nurse (aka: knowing too much) makes this even harder for you. I pray that you feel God holding you close and Abby even closer than before.

Rhonda said...

Praying for Abby and you tonight,I know how it is to live on the cancer floor and how draining it can be,Not knowing what is wrong with your little one.I will continue to pray for your family.
Rhonda

Anonymous said...

praying for all of you, this breaks my heart too. Michelle i am so sorry, you are still so strong...only God.

Bobbie Bailey said...

Michelle, I'm sure your trained ears are completely "tuned in" to Abby's irregular breathing. Yet, we know that our Lord's ears are perfectly turned in to your little girl's breathing. Cast your cares on Him for He cares for you, Michelle, and then be sure to get some much needed rest.

Continuing in prayer,
Bobbie

Mom to 9 Blessings! said...

Oh Michelle - I'm so sorry I never knew about Katie either. BIG HUGS!

We continue to pray over all of you and are asking God to give you divine wisdom and discernment on how to best care for Abby!

Love you all,
Jill

Charisa said...

Praying for you (your pain makes my heart hurt) and for Abby...Thanks for keeping us updated. Praying rest for both of you today.

Pam, mom, honey, said...

thank you for sharing your heart with me. praying for answers and understanding

Nati @ I will praise Him said...

I'm so sorry Michelle. And don't know what to say, just please know you'll be lifted up in prayer!

Gardenia said...

I'm asking God to continue to hold Abby in the palm of His hand.

Ann Brown said...

Michelle,

I am so sorry. My prayers are continuing for you all. I am so sorry about not just Abby, but the painful memories that are being revived. I know that when Elke was struggling to breathe, it was literally the scariest thing I have ever experience as a mother. Scarier than any other thing we have dealt with thus far with cancer. I tried to explain that to her pulmonologist -- that for a parent, it is beyond description to have to listen to your child struggle to breathe. I know I didn't sleep for a long time -- just watched her retractions, held my breath during the apnea, and stared at her O2 sats.... And I didn't have to struggle with the memories you have to deal with. So I have an inkling of how you feel, but only an inkling.

Praying for God's peace and healing.

Ann

Sabrina said...

I cannot even imagine how tired you must be. Praying for Abby, and for your comfort as you wait for the doctors to find a solution to this breathing difficulty. Also praying for Garrett through his recovery!

Michelle said...

Oh Michelle,
I didn't know about Katie. My heartfelt prayers are being issued on your behalf! As a mom, it is so hard when we cannot comfort our child-but know that you are doing the absolute best for her that you can and sharing your story has been an inspiration to so many.
Much Love,
Michelle Mann

Sweet Joni said...

*speechless* *tears* *HUGS*

Nancye said...

Praying with all my heart.......

Lynnette Kraft said...

SO sorry to hear about what Abby is going through right now. I just prayed for her and you. I'm also sorry it's caused you to painfully remember Katie.

I'll be checking back to see how you are doing.

Love,
Lynnette

Debi said...

I had not heard little Katie's story either. So sorry for the loss. May God's comfort and grace continue to cover you and your family.
Praying that they will get the med, breathing, and sleeping issues figured out and under control for sweet Abby girl.
Love and hugs and prayers,
Debi

Terri said...

I'm so sorry Michelle.

I may not comment often but little Abby is always on my mind and in my prayers.

((hugs))

Pineapple Princess said...

I am praying with you!

be_a_Mary said...

Praying for you guys!! I am so sorry about Katie!! I can understand how it would be so painful to remember. El Roi, the God Who Sees, sees you and Abby, all that is happening and all that you feel as you feel it.