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Jun 12, 2010

Fingers in My Ears & Singing Loudly, Off-Key

From Michelle:

Usually if it takes me 6 days to write an update after begging for prayers, things have gotten pretty bad and I don't have a clue how to tell the people who love Abby. This week is no exception. I have just buried my head in the sand, hoping it would all be better soon. Cowardly, I know but it is honestly what I have been doing.

My fear is always that if our blog is too dark, too sad, people won't want to read it any more. Do I care about blog traffic and stats? Not really other than whatever influence we may have to help people live a fuller, Godlier life. But... I do care that others are praying for Abby. She has been fighting cancer for 2 years and she is tired.

Abby's spinal tap on Monday showed what we feared. Her intracranial pressure is over twice what they want to to be, 4-5 times higher than a normal child. Pressure that high for long and it can permanently damage her eyes, ears and brain; not to mention cause a five year old unbelievable amounts of pain. I hate that Abby is going through this again.

Most likely, the medications being used to treat her respiratory problems (pneumonia and asthma) caused her pressure to go up again. Since she just finished a steroid pulse (for her cancer), her breathing is doing better than it had been. Hopefully, we will be able to figure out how to treat it better, if they get bad again.

Tonight, we are out of town. Away from her doctors. Her temperature is climbing. It is 100.4. If it rises to 101, her oncologist will make us bring her to the ER. My prayer is that if she needs medical help, her temperature will rise and if she doesn't it will return to normal so she can stay home with her family.

Please pray (again?) for what sounds like a broken record:
  • Abby to be healed
  • Her temp to stay down
  • Her pressures to stay down
  • Godly provision for Brent and I: strength, wisdom, finances and health
Abby is still a happy, feisty, princess who is loving life. Here is a photo of her on the last day of school running in race. Her legs were wobbly but she ran the whole way. She did beat the kid sitting on the ground though! :)

35 comments:

Kat said...

Always praying...thank you for sharing with us the specifics we can pray for. You are all in our hearts and in our prayers.

Terri Green said...

PRAYING!!

Love in Christ!
Terri, Jesse and family!
www.caringbridge.org/visit/jessegreen

Anonymous said...

It is not too dark, Michelle. It is what it is. I have been wondering how Abby has been doing and my daughter asks about her often. We will continue to pray for Abby, and your family.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Michelle, Brent, Abby and family... My heart breaks for you but my prayers continue. Regardless of how the blog goes I will always follow it.

Anonymous said...

Always praying for your precious Abby, and constantly checking your blog for any updates.

Petula said...

I've seen Abby's badge around the Internet and decided to click over today. I hope and pray for her temperature and everything to stay down. God bless your family.

Liz F. said...

Praying for sweet little Abby and for you all.

Holly said...

Sweet little girl. We will never stop praying for her. It's such a blessing to know people are praying, isn't it? We are starting to understand that now. Thanks for emailing me! I haven't had a chance to write back yet. Just know that as we pray for our Sarah, we also pray for your Abby. love and hugs...the Gilliam family

Sweet Joni said...

A family blog is LIFE, it is what it is... please share, no matter the words that 'fall onto the paper' (now if every single blog was 'down' then I'd be concerned) ;) THANK YOU for giving the specifics of prayer needs!!!

Go Abby Go! Oh, how inspiring it'd have been to be on the other end of that field when she crossed the finish line!!! :D

Crossing another finish line with determination for your Princess Abby (& you) is about to happen again... The 'race' started 826 days ago & SEEing 160 days left is a mere JOY... come on Warrior Child, keep His Armor on & finish that race!!! :)

~ See Determination at Spence Smith's Blog http://ht.ly/1XF76 ~

HUGS, LOVE, PRAYERS,
~Joni Lee

Sweet Joni said...

I noticed the ChipIn Badge has changed but I cannot seem to find a code for this new one to put on my blog... help? :)

basketball addict said...

Just wanted you guys to know I am praying for all of you. I never forget any of you although I don't post that often. Will continue praying for all of you and that Abby will be healed. If I can be of any help, please let me know. Stay wafe. Romans 8:28 (502-415-3424) Thx and God bless all of you...:)

Ann Marie said...

Huge hugs and prayers!

Anonymous said...

Prayers. My heart almost stopped though when I read "Abby's spinal tap Monday showed what we feared." I was so worried that the R word was about to come.

Mary

James 1:27 Family said...

It seems like Abby had been running a race with wobbly legs for a couple years now, huh? She never gives up. She just keeps going. She makes me want to be a stronger mama.

Michelle, you just complain away. We all read your blog because we love and care about you and because it is real. If you only shared the lovely side of life, it wouldn't be real.

Lifting you all up in prayer for endurance to keep running this precious race.

Love in Jesus,
Amy

Ann Brown said...

Michelle and Brent,

I'm so sorry to hear about Abby's pressure. It seems like OT can't come soon enough for her. Would they consider taking her off some of the meds they think might be contributing to it (steroids? IT Mtx??) to see if it helps, like I believe they did for Avalon? I know relapse is always a fear, but am learning myself that sometime the meds need to be adjusted/held in order to try to prevent permanent impairments down the line. Since Abby's so close to OT, I wonder what their thoughts are on this.

Always feel free to share. Always. People want to pray for you and support you, and we can't know how best to direct our prayers if you don't share the bad along with the good. You all do a marvelous job of portraying the joy in your lives along with the trials -- I woudn't be worried in that regard. Along that line, love the running race pic!

Hugs,

Ann (and Elke)

Johannah said...

Dear Michelle (and Brent)
Don't ever be afraid of posting something because you feel it's too dark or not uplifting enough. My prayers are with you and Abby in the darkest of times as well as in the better times.

~ Teresa ~ said...

I look forward to reading your blog and check every day that I am on the computer. (No matter the content of the posts) Continued prayers for Abby and your family.

from all of us with love said...

Whenever you need please keep asking for prayer. Prayer is the only answer. Not only for your family but, for all of us as well. When we pray for one another we are in God's will.
Thank you for sharing.

Marlo said...

The picture you posted reminded me of something Anna once told me, "Second place is better than last place and last place is better than no place."

living4him5 said...

Praying for sweet Abby!

God bless,
Amy

Rhonda said...

Praying for Abby and your whole family..I do know how it feels to have a sick child and living on the oncology floor of a hospital.I pray for complete healing for Sweet Abby!!!
Praying for rest for you family.
Rhonda

Susan A said...

hi Brent and Michelle, I am praying for Abby that she may have reief from pain and that all her blood cells, chemicals in her body, everything, will balance itself out and that all the good cells will be growing healthily and flushing out all the bad toxins out. Praying for peace for you all from our Saviour, for strength for you all to trust in Him and to seek Him about this. May He answer your prayers. Let her become strong and healthy...

Mama D.'s Dozen said...

So sorry it's been a tough week. Hope your "out of town" trip has been a fun one, though.

We want to hear from you ... the good, the bad, and the ugly. We are here to pray for you!!!


Love ya,

laurel :)

Anonymous said...

I think there are many like me--I want to hear news of Abby, whether it is good or not. I log on here several times a day to see if there is news. We care and want to know everything that you feel you can share, so that we can rejoice with you, cry with you, and pray with you.

Dene
TN

Nora S. said...

Michelle,

I love the picture of Abby running the race--she's a great example of what we all are asked to do--just run the race.

Please share whatever you need to share--then we can pray for what you need prayer for.

I hope she's having some relief from the headaches and any other pains she is experiencing. Have you been able to get her temp. down so you both can go home from the ER?

Hope you and Brent are able to take a few moments this week to get out with each other.

Praying for everyone and the special requests for Abby.

Nora

The McCammons said...

I read your blog every day, I don't comment every day, but no matter what the content I read and pray for all of you and your Drs.
You and your family are such an ispiration each and every day for what you all endure for your life, God ad children.
Hugs and many prayers to you alL!!!!

Wendi Taylor said...

Abby is in my prayers as always. Please, please don't be afraid to post. We read because we care about Abby and want to know how she is doing so we can pray for her needs as they develop. Those who would quit reading because you post how she is doing, aren't likely praying for her anyway.

Dominique said...

We are praying for little Abby. Sometimes you just have to be real and let God do with your words what He's going to do with your words. I know that He is working through your journey. I will pray for tender mercies on your family.

Shannon said...

Michelle and Brent,
Please never worry about people leaving...please be honest, it helps us to know how to pray and it is ALWAYS an honor to pray for you guys. I'm praying now. Praying for strength, wisdom, feedom from pain, healing...for God's compassionate hand to come down and hold you all so closely and bring strength that can only come through Him.
Hold on tightly and know that so many are holding you up in prayer!
Hugs,
Shannon

Karen said...

i LOVE the privilege of praying for you, Michelle, and for Abby and your whole family. thank you for continuing to put yourself out there with the hard stuff and the good stuff too. XOXO

Chrissy Kinsey said...

Oh Michelle...my heart just breaks for you all with Abby in pain and having high pressures right now. The ER trip is pretty rotten also. You have our thoughts and prayers that things will improve for her soon. I so hope that the end of chemo comes quickly and without further complications for her and with it, the pressure issues will go away soon also. It is so difficult seeing our kids in pain.

Much love and hugs,
Chrissy

Ann said...

I agree with the commenter that said "it is what it is" and many of us understand that. Blogging is as much about asking for prayers as it is a place for you to vent. I would never stop reading or praying because your reality is harsh and you dare to share it. I am praying for Abby and your family.

Michelle said...

Hi Riggs Family!
It's never too dark..it's just "life" and for me personally I check on Abby a gazillion times a day and would rather hear something than nothing, so that I can pray accordingly. That picture of Abby running is so inspirational! I think another t-shirt with this picture and scripture about running the race would be great!!
I cannot believe it's been almost two years that our family has been lifting your family in prayer. What a blessing!
We also pray for your safety during all these storms of late.
:)Michelle Mann

Diane and family:) said...

I'm no longer on twitter, but, still come to your blog, fairly regularly.....our little prayer group gets together nightly, and, we pray for Abby all the time....our prayer group consists of some of those precious Treasures closest to Jesus, I believe....children;) My little J's, 9, 8 and 5 years old ask how Abby is doing whenever I have failed to share with them how she is doing..our prayer group consists of my littlest daughters mentioned above and my husband and myself. We pray on for sweet girl, Abby....and, her family:)

darci said...

oh michelle, it is not too dark to share-and it is not a broken record. I am praying, and I am honored to be able to do so. darci