Can you believe how hot it is? [Yell real loud "HOW HOT IS IT????"]
It's 107 today. I'm ashamed to say I don't feel like doing a stinkin' thing today (which goes completely against my productive grain). I probably still will... but I don't feel like it. It's so hot you can literally smell the "hot" when you walk outside.
It's so hot the chickens are laying fried eggs.
It's so hot the local Amish are using air conditioners.
It's so hot the trees are arguing over the dogs.
It's so hot you HOPE the lid is up on the toilet when you sit down.
It's so hot it doesn't matter which sink faucet you turn on.
It's so hot we got evaporated milk out of the cows this morning.
It's so hot we're getting fresh popcorn straight from the stalk.
It's so hot the Baptist church up the road canceled the book burning today.
It's so hot the Senior Center is having a bikini contest.
It's so hot we're making INSTANT sun tea.
It's so hot the car is overheated... and it hasn't even been started yet.
It's so hot that a hot shower is more refreshing than a dip in the pool.
It's so hot the pigs are sweating like fat humans.
It's so hot the lawyers are committing suicide because it's got to be cooler in hell (doh! that will get me some comments!!! :) )
It's so hot Congress is taking their hands out of our pockets for a little while so they can fan themselves.
NOW THAT'S HOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!