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Aug 31, 2010

Abby, Names, Origins, Comments, Mold & Ebay

From Brent

I had a couple of questions about the Open Season questions that I want to answer. So I'll start with those:

Can't you put the names of people who submit the questions?

I leave that up to each submitter. Seems like if one person starts, everyone else follows. If no one puts their name or link, nobody typically likes to be first. I don't require names because I don't want people to hesitate to ask a question. Yes, I get some ugly ones. If they are ridiculous, I delete them. Sometimes I add questions to the list that people put into a comment instead of the linky list.

Where do the questions come from?

Readers for the most part. I occasionally add some common questions from the masses of email I get as people seem to ask the same thing over and over. Sometimes I'll kick off a list, or add to list, with those emailed questions. Sometimes I combine similar questions from whatever source into one question.

Now, the list questions:

Why do you think people leave those nasty comments? How do you handle them?

A variety of reasons. Some feel like they are legitimate criticism and genuinely feel that way about us. It's obvious from the amount and nastiness of the comments that many people come here JUST to find something to criticize. That's okay... maybe something we say or do will break through a hard heart.

People feel very brave hiding behind an anonymous keyboard. They don't have to answer, defend or live with their comment. We've learned to ignore/delete most and only occasionally mention them publicly if we think there is a reason or it is necessary in some way.

How is Abby doing? Did removing the mold help? Can you tell yet?

As we've posted several times (after this question was asked), the mold removal seemed to do the trick for both Abby and myself. She's had a couple of fevers but the chronic high fevers seem to have gone away.

Do you own Linky Tools? Looks like you do... can you explain what it is?

Linky Tools allows you to put different kinds of "link lists" in your blog posts. Text links or thumbnail image links; different types of links like prayer requests, questions, contest entries and just plain old generic links for any use.

Yes, we own Linky Tools. It's all free. There are over 11,000 users at this point. Still free. It started out as something I created for myself then I shared it with some friends and it went nuts.

You seem to be pretty conservative. What's your feelings about what is going on politically in our country?

I try to stay away from several topics on this blog including politics. I write about that over on my current events blog - Speaking of having other blogs, let's jump down the question list and answer a related question:

Why do you have so many blogs?

I have five blogs because I separate the topics I write about. I used to have one blog but people complained that they weren't interested in more than one general topic. I felt like that was reasonable so I created different blogs for different topics. I list them here.

You haven't put up a new issue of SeriousLife Magazine in while. Are you still doing that?

Yes. Abby's treatment and the need to work a few more hours for needed additional income has made some of the "free" stuff I do a little hard to manage consistently. I love the magazine, and have a publishing background. If I ever figure out how to make some real income from it, I'll be able to dedicate more time to it. As is, I plan to publish an issue a month.

How's the new adoption effort going?

Slow. As Abby's chemo winds down we hope to return more focus to that. We have a long effort ahead of us, saving up and raising funds. We aren't wealthy and adoption is expensive.

We'll probably do garage sales or sell some quality products and use the proceeds for the adoption. If we are selling a product or item then people can feel like they are getting something too.

Speaking of that, we are trying to get serious about our long neglected home business of selling on Ebay. We live on one income and Michelle couldn't work outside the home even if she wanted to. Abby has too many ongoing needs and we feel it is best for our situation that Michelle be at home, and we try to grow a business from home.

So we are working hard at building a home business on Ebay, and would be deeply grateful for some expert help and guidance from any one out there so inclined. I'm sure I can return the favor in some way. Holler at me:

If you want to add a question to this little series of answers, you can add it here.


Wendi Taylor said...

I just want to say, that contrary to what some people seem to think, it wouldn't make you horrible people if you did adopt orphans and put them in daycare. The people who level that criticism are usually the ones who can't be bothered to help orphans to begin with, kwim?

Anonymous said...

I have to say that I am a longtime reader of your blog and fellow adoptive parent (Guatemala). I have followed your journey a long time and love seeing how Abby is doing. However, the comment about adopting orphans just to turn around and put them into daycare really bothered me. I think its wonderful that your family is able to stay sufficient on one income, but in many cases that is not possible. Like you said adoption is expensive. My husband and I both work full time outside of the home, my income is used primarily to pay off our adoption loan and for our health insurance. I will continue to read your blog but wanted to gently point out that such statements can really be hurtful to families who are not in a position to have a stay at home parent.

Alison said...


Thank you for correcting your misguided comment about families who adopt and daycare.

But I just wanted to point out 2 things:

1) You seem to be making the distinction that there is something 'different' about adopted children and that they shouldn't be in daycare. I believe we all (or I would like to believe) that we consider these children the same as other children and no distinction should be made.
2) You have no idea of the various issues in others' lives. While you are, unfortunately, dealing with Abby and her illness my husband and I are dealing with child support to his ex-wife (reality...though divorce is NOT what God would want) and sick parents on both sides. Take the child support and all of the children away and I would need to work to ensure our parents are cared for in dignity.

My point is - THANK YOU for correcting the comment. It isn't just to be politically correct but as many millions of families as there as there are millions of reasons why we all do what we do. Sometimes it is for the wrong reason but for those of us that grieve daily at daycare reality it is hurtful and seems so judgemental.

For What it is worth,