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Jun 14, 2011

Mariage, Divorce, Online & Emotional Adultery

From Brent:

The Internet has brought alot of new issues for marriages to deal with. Online emotional affairs... do they constitute adultery and grounds for divorce?

I recently exchanged a few emails with someone who was dealing with an online cheating spouse.

Read it here....


Anonymous said...

Hey! I just wanted to know how Abby and Landis are doing lately? How is everything with the tornado?

Brent, Missy, Aubrey, Eli, & Nathaniel Copes said...

When will you give an adoption update? We are anxious to see Abby's dream come true!

Anonymous said...

could you give a link to your original article about emotional affairs? i disagree with you that it is not biblical to divorce if here has been an emotional affair. my husband has broken his marriage vows, he has been unfaithful, even if he didn't have sex.

Blueyez said...

This is such a good article, more needs to be written on online, emotional affairs etc. There are so many levels involved and it can be the gateway to divorce. More needs to be written on how a christian can confront and deal with their christian or non christian spouse cheating online or emotionally.

Toyin O. said...

This is very alarming, thanks for sharing.

Donna said...

Hi Brent, That was a great post ...and my heart goes out to the woman being cheated on.

Sadly, online communication leads to so much moral failure. It's just too easy.

Thanks for writing so well on this topic. I agree with your position completely.

Donna @ Comin' Home

PS. BTW, I wrote a post today that I think you would really like. It's called To Blog..or Not To Blog. :o)

blognadine said...

Staying together for the children is not necessarily the best thing to do. This can sometimes cause heartache, resentment, unhappiness experienced both by parents and children. I am not proposing divorce, however the children shouldn’t be the only reason to stay together.

I agree with Brent in that some form of counseling is required - since he has lied before about breaking off the relationship, speaking with your pastor or a marriage counselor should be mandatory. Her husband needs to know to be mature enough to deal with the consequences of his infidelities. Yes we are Christians, but the Lord doesn’t want us to sit back and accept infidelities.

I am sure the Lord will guide you throughout this period, as He has in the past.

Nadine Simpson

Anonymous said...

I went through this four years ago with my husband when he reconnected with his high school sweetheart, first on and then in person on a trip back to his hometown alone (without me) to visit his parents. When he returned home (we lived half way across the country) I immediately knew something was up because of his demeanor (he denied it and said "I am just going through some things and need to sort them out myself") and, after months and months of me pleading to him to tell me what was wrong, snooping his email (he left it open), phone records, text records, etc. I saw one text from her to him that said "I love you and miss you". That was it. I hit a wall and couldn't do it anymore.

Once I told him to leave and presented him with a printout of all of the phone and text records and said "I really don't care WHAT happened when you were home because it is CLEAR something is going on NOW even though it is not physical and, therefore, I want you to leave," he knew I was serious and wasn't going to stand for it anymore. Not only was my trust betrayed but my faith was shattered also.

Brent, I was ready to have him get out and turn my back on all of it because of the betrayal (we have no children). After months of counseling and years of building up our relationship again, I am happy to say that we are better than ever. Do I still have suspicions every now and then? Absolutely - I probably always will. Do I have access to his phone and email still? You bet ai do. And his Facebook account as well. And always will. Unfortunately my view of some things will never change, I will never be able to trust "completely", but we are together, happy, and stronger.

My point to all of this rambling? Had I not given him the chance to fix things, had he not begged me to let him stay (once he knew I was seriously done) while we worked on our marriage, I would be in a much different place right now. I am sure I would still be bitter, sad, angry, and a victim.

Instead, I gave it all to God and told Him I needed and trusted Him to get me through this and have gone through being brought to my knees to standing tall next to my best friend.

But, I have to admit, reading the correspondence between you and the reader and knowing what she is going through STILL makes my stomach flip - because that was me. I know how sick she is feeling. I know how she feels and what she is going through. And my thoughts and prayers and love are with her.